Mini-Magazine | How Then Should We Pray?
Not My Will, Lord, but Yours.
How Then Should We Pray?
By: Denise Kohlmeyer
Why? Why didn’t God answer my prayers? He could have healed my brother. But He didn’t, and my brother died.”
This was the tearful lament of one woman in our evening Bible study. We were studying hope in the light of God’s promises. Mary shared how she had put her hope and expectation in God healing her brother, who was taken suddenly and seriously ill.
Mary knew God could take her brother’s broken body and make it whole again. But that was not what happened. After lingering on life support for more than a week, her brother died.
Mary was now more confused and at odds with God’s answer to her prayers and her expectations.
Therein lies Mary’s (and our) problem: there is a cataclysmic difference between can and will.
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We know God can do all things, and nothing—nothing!—is impossible for Him. After all, we have a plethora of evidence in the Bible.
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD
He created everything out of nothing: light, earth, plants, animals, humans.
He parted a sea to allow two million refugees to flee from their enemy, then used that same sea to swallow up that enemy.
He made a bush to burn, but not be consumed.
He caused a desert rock to gush forth life-saving water.
He opened the wombs of barren women (Hannah, Leah, Elizabeth).
He turned ordinary water into vintaged wine.
He caused a young virgin to become pregnant.
He cured numerous infirmed people.
He raised numerous people from the dead.
Yes, God can do all things. Being omnipotent, He is more than capable.
But will He?
That is the crux of many people’s dilemma when it comes to prayer and expectations, particularly with regard to pain and suffering, with seeking healing and wholeness.
God can heal. God can cure. But will He?
BUT SOMETIMES THE ANSWER IS NO
There are several instances in Scripture when the answer to a particular prayer was “No.” In Acts 12:1–5, James, the brother of John, was taken prisoner at the behest of the violent, anti-Christian King Herod Agrippa, the son of the King Herod, the very one who had all the baby boys murdered around the time of Jesus’ birth. The first generation Christians in Antioch prayed fervently for James’ release. But he wasn’t. Instead, he was beheaded.
Why didn’t God step in? Why did He allow James to die a horrific death? God certainly could have prevented it; He had all the power at His disposal to thwart Agrippa’s evil. But He didn’t.
In another instance, possibly the most poignant of all, another man prayed and wept for release from death. His own!
In the Garden of Gethsemane, a distressed Jesus fell face down and pleaded with God, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me” (Matt. 26:39). The “cup” was God’s wrath, which would soon be poured out on Jesus in the next 24 hours through a humiliating and excruciating crucifixion.
Jesus knew what was coming. He knew what lay ahead for Him. He knew He would suffer physical, mental, and spiritual anguish. It was not going to be pretty, and He (in His most human moment) was dreading it. He did not want to go through with it.
Jesus also knew it was possible for God to “remove” that cup, to prevent it from happening. Yet, with His next breath, Jesus whispered, “Yet not as I will, but as You will” (Matt. 26:39b).
God told His own beloved Son, “No.” God would not—and did not—remove the cup. Jesus would drink that cup. He would go through the ordeal. Why? Because God knew the bigger picture. God also knew His Son’s death would bring Him, God, the most glory and do the most good for mankind (you and me): that Jesus’ death would bring about reconciliation and eternal life.
These are hard, hard realities to accept. And knowing this, our minds and hearts are often in tension with praying for something or someone and our expectant answer (what we want to happen). So, how do we reconcile the two?
TO RECONCILE THE TWO...THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS GOD'S WILL
Unfortunately, as finite humans, we cannot divine the will of God. We cannot know what God will do in any given situation. Yet, He graciously invites us to always make our requests known to Him, regardless. We always have the opportunity and privilege to ask—to petition and supplicate—with humility and thanksgiving.
Of course, as selfish beings, we want our prayers answered our way. And sometimes that happens. Why? Because it was God’s will to begin with. He was going to do that very thing anyway, regardless.
But when the answer is the complete opposite of what we asked, like Jesus in the garden, then what? Well, either way—whether a divine yea or nay—the answer is always God’s will.
God will do whatever brings Him the most glory and honor, even if that means a cherished loved one dies, or leaves (in the case of divorce), or rebels (in the case of a prodigal), or if something does not happen (in the case of a dream, goal, or job).
SO HOW THEN SHOULD WE PRAY?
First and foremost, with humility. We must temper our prayers like Jesus, with, “Not as I will, but as You will, Father,” or, “Thy will be done.” Either way, we bow our will to God’s. We humbly accept whatever answer He gives, even though we want healing for ourselves or a loved one, as in Mary’s case. We must humbly acknowledge that God knows best and will answer accordingly.
We should pray, then, in this vein: “If it is possible, Father, let this ____ come to pass. I know all things are possible with You. I know You can make ____ happen; but, I pray, not my will, but Yours be done. Do whatever brings You the most glory, God, and give me the grace and strength and humility to accept Your answer. Amen.”
Pouring Your Heart Out to God
By Lisa Elliott
Scripture challenges us to share our struggles with God, expressing ourselves honestly rather than letting things fester inside. As the psalmist encourages us to do in Psalm 62:8, there is great value in pouring out our hearts to God. No motive, no heartache, no passion, nor sentiment is ever hidden from Him. So let’s find the freedom and blessing that comes from praying openly and honestly with our Lord…
SOUL REFRESHMENT
PSALM 62:8 (NIV)
“Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”
God, Your Will Be Done
By Nancy Kreitzer
David struggled in prayer to accept God’s will. Yet we can be challenged by his boldness and trust in God. I’m convinced that God is calling us to freedom; we need to take our burdens to Him and release whatever desire, disappointment, or loss we are holding on to. There is no quick, easy formula for releasing those burdens to Him. But the joy that awaits us on the other side, as we yield our hearts to His perfect will, far outweighs the struggle…
Heavenly Father, we come before You in prayer, intentionally seeking Your guidance and wisdom on how to pray—how to pour our hearts out to You openly and honestly. Lord, You know the depths of our souls, and You invite us to come to You with all our joys, sorrows, hopes, and fears. Grant us the courage to lay bare our hearts before You, trusting that You hear us and that You care deeply for us.
Help us, Lord, to keep praying, even when the answers seem distant or when our prayers appear to go unanswered. Teach us to trust in Your perfect timing and Your unfailing goodness, even when Your answer is different from what we hoped for or expected. Give us the strength to persevere in prayer, knowing that You are always at work, even when we cannot see it.
Lord, in the moments of waiting and uncertainty, may Your peace fill our hearts, and may Your Spirit intercede for us with groans that words cannot express. Help us to surrender our burdens to You, releasing whatever we are holding onto and placing our trust fully in Your care. Give us the grace to accept Your will with humility and faith, knowing that Your plans for us are always for our good.
May our prayers be a sweet fragrance before You, a constant offering of love and surrender. In Your presence, may we find rest for our souls and strength for the journey ahead. We thank You, Lord, for the privilege of prayer and for the assurance that You hear us and You answer according to Your perfect wisdom and love. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
